Being There
by Katie B
Summary: A "Dead Poets Society" story - Todd helps Charlie through a rough time.


Title: Being There  
Author: Katie B.   
Fandom: Dead Poets Society  
Pairing: Todd/Charlie (this is pre-slash. If the thought of two boys kissing weirds you out, then don't read this story.)  
Rating: R for some 25-cent words.  
Warnings: Bad words and angst ahead! Once again, this is pre-slash. If you don't like it, go away.  
Summary: Todd helps Charlie through a rough time.  
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, and it's a good thing too or Charlie would *never* get out!  
Notes: Okay, I'll confess - I'm known for writing very long stories that never get finished, because I always come up with another idea before I can finish the first one, or I just have no time to finish the story. Not only is this the first story I've ever finished, it's my first slash story (although it's really not too slashy). So, I would REALLY REALLY REALLY appreciate *any* feedback you guys want to send my way. Good, bad I don't care.   
  
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*toss* *turn* *toss* *sigh*   
  
That was it. Todd was officially going insane. For the third time in a week he couldn't sleep. Over the weekend, the Whelton heaters had gone haywire, and they were now refusing to shut off, turning the boys' rooms into saunas. Neil was lucky - he had the ability to sleep through anything, anywhere. Todd, however, did not possess such luck. No matter how hard he tried to ignore the sweltering conditions, he just could not get comfortable enough to fall asleep. He had tried everything - taking a cold shower before bed, dreaming of ice cream and snow, but every night he ended up laying in his bed wide awake, sweating to the rhythmic sound of Neil's snoring.   
  
Admitting defeat, Todd sighed again and got out of bed. After making sure that Neil was still asleep, Todd grabbed his coat, notebook and flashlight, and headed out to the cave. Since sleep wasn't an option, he decided to work on some poetry, and the cave would no doubt provide a cooler working environment than any room in Whelton.   
  
Todd marched out to the cave, lost in thoughts of homework and classes. It wasn't until he was right outside the cave that he noticed smoke coming out of the hole in the top.   
  
//Oh crap.// he thought. //Is there a meeting tonight that I forgot about? No, there can't be...Is one of the guys in there with a girl? Nah...// After running through the possibilities, Todd's curiosity got the better of him and he decided to sneak a peek into the cave, just to see what was happening.   
  
Creeping closer to the cave's entrance, Todd expected to hear kissing noises or moaning, but found silence instead. Peering into the cave, Todd's chin dropped at the sight before him. Charlie was sitting on the floor of the cave, a cigarette in one hand and a beer bottle in the other. Three other beer bottles were lying on the floor, obviously empty.   
  
Todd was torn. Part of him wanted to find out what was wrong with Charlie; after all, he was a friend and if something was going on in Charlie's life, he felt obligated to help. But the thought of being alone with Charlie made him a little nervous. He always felt uncomfortable around Charlie, and that was when he was sober. Todd was pretty sure an intoxicated Charlie was even more of a force to be reckoned with. As he debated a course of action, Todd accidentally stepped back onto a patch of wet leaves. His foot came out from under him, and he landed on the ground with a thump.   
  
Charlie shakily stood up. "Who's there?" he slurred.   
  
Todd stood up and went to the mouth of the cave. "Um, hi Charlie. It's me, Todd."   
  
"Todd! Hey, come on in! Have a seat in the den of misery." Charlie made a swooping movement with his arm and nearly toppled over. Todd ran over and helped him stand up again, catching a whiff of the alcohol on Charlie's breath in the process.   
  
"Jeez Charlie! I think we'd better get you back before you hurt yourself."   
  
"No," Charlie said sharply, removing himself from Todd's grip. "I'm not done wallowing yet and I don't wanna go back until I'm done." Charlie flopped onto the ground and took another gulp from the bottle in his hand. "Want some?" he asked, offering the bottle to Todd.   
  
"No thanks. Maybe I should just go..."   
  
"Nah, you don't have to go. Sit down, get comfy."   
  
"Um...all right." Todd sat down on the floor of the cave and watched Charlie. Despite the drunken cheerfulness Charlie was exuding, it was obvious by the streaks on his face that the boy had been crying. Todd was dying to know what on earth could make the great Charlie Dalton so upset, but he was afraid to ask. //What if I make him mad?// Todd thought. //In this state he could be capable of anything!// Suddenly Todd was drawn out of his thoughts by Charlie's drunken drawl.   
  
"So Todd, what brings you out here on this dark and dismal night?"   
  
"Well, I, uh, I couldn't sleep, so I came out here to...relax a little I guess."   
  
Charlie snickered. "You came out here to masturbate, didn't you?"   
  
"No! I was going to...write a little...it relaxes me, you know?"   
  
"Sure you were." Charlie laughed again before taking a gulp of beer and a puff from his cigarette.   
  
"So, um, what are you doing out here?" Todd asked in a low voice.   
  
"What does it look like? I'm having some self-destructive fun, the best kind there is!"   
  
"Well, I can see that. I just meant...you know...what I mean is...I've never seen you drink before and I was just wondering what the occasion was."   
  
"Nothing special. Just the complete destruction of my family."   
  
"What?"   
  
"I got a letter from my mother today." Charlie opened his coat and removed an envelope from the pocket. He threw it at Todd. "It seems that the other day after yet *another* fight with my father, my mother woke up in the morning and discovered that the house seemed a little empty. She soon realized that the cause of the emptiness was the lack of all of my father's belongings."   
  
"You mean he-"   
  
"Left? Ran out? Deserted his wife and son? The correct answer is all of the above!" Charlie threw his hands up in the air, nearly spilling his beer all over Todd. "He left a little note saying that, quote, he was tired of dealing with my mother's "fucking bullshit" and "crap" from his "worthless son"."   
  
"He didn't really say that, did he?"   
  
"Yup. Right...there," Charlie pointed to the letter in Todd's hands.   
  
Todd read the letter, surprised at the matter-of-fact manner in which Mrs. Dalton wrote. "I wouldn't worry about it, though," Todd read. "Your father is probably just pulling one of his stunts again. He'll be back in no time...' I can't believe your mother is being so nonchalant about this!"   
  
"That's not nonchalance. It's blind stupidity. She knows he's not coming back. She just doesn't want to admit that she drove her husband away." Charlie suddenly got very somber and his voice lowered. "Fuck 'em both."   
  
"Charlie..."   
  
"No, I mean it. I'm so tired of it. I'm tired of listening to them fight every minute of every day whenever I go home. I'm tired of choosing sides. I'm tired of eating meals in silence. I'm tired of trying to get their attention so for one fucking minute they'll stop fighting and I can pretend that this is not the life I'm living and we're a normal family and..." Charlie drifted off and Todd could see the tears springing to his eyes. "But it's okay, you know? I don't need them. I don't need either one of them. Hell, I can take care of myself. I'm a big boy, right? But it's just not fair." Charlie turned away from Todd and faced the wall of the cave. "It's not fair," he whispered. The boys sat in silence for a moment as Todd tried to figure out what to say. Suddenly, Charlie punched the cave wall as hard as he could. "It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair!" he screamed, as he punched the wall again and again. Todd sprang up and grabbed Charlie in a bear hug, wrapping his arms around his friend. He pulled Charlie away from the wall and onto the floor as Charlie broke down in tears. Todd turned him around and pulled him into a tight hug.   
  
"Shhh...It's okay...I'm so sorry...It's gonna be okay..." Todd soothed Charlie, running his hands up and down his back, trying to calm him down. He could feel Charlie's sobs start to subside, but he continued to talk to him. "I'm so sorry Charlie...I'm so sorry."   
  
"Don't leave...please don't leave..."   
  
"It's okay, I'm not going anywhere." Todd began to stroke Charlie's hair. They sat like that for a few more minutes, until Charlie pulled away, wiping his face.   
  
"Sorry," he said.   
  
"You have nothing to be sorry for, " Todd replied. "I'm just glad I was here."   
  
"Me too." Charlie wavered slightly, still a little tipsy from the alcohol. "Thanks Todd."   
  
Before Todd could reply, Charlie leaned over and kissed him. It was a sweet kiss and it took Todd a moment to realize what was going on. Todd pulled away in surprise, and Charlie almost fell on top of him.   
  
"Uh, we should probably head back," Todd said quickly. He looked at Charlie's hands, bloody from where he had punched the wall. "You should clean up and get some rest."   
  
"Okay."   
  
"Come on," Todd said as he pulled Charlie up. He took off his coat and wrapped up the empty beer bottles in it.   
  
"Hey Todd?"   
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"Thanks for staying."   
  
"You're welcome, Charlie." Tucking the beer bottles under one arm and Charlie's arm under the other, Todd led Charlie out of the cave, and they walked back in silence.   
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